Suicide Tendency Not Limited to Life

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Abhay Bharunt


Yes its myth! No by no means the author want to pitch that male suicide is a myth as male suicide of approx 1,19,000 men’s is very much noted down in NCRB reports but what we want to highlight is the fact that suicidal tendency are not limited to only life. Suicides and suicidal attempts in male are alarmingly rising as there is no government appointed organisation to monitor male’s depression and its actual root cause.
As men right activists we get numerous calls on Men’s Helpline no. 8882 498 498, what we have learned that 99% man who call us are facing matrimonial related disputes and when someone chooses suicides or having suicidal tendency than actually the victim is of the believe that he has no choice left, he doesn’t know the way ahead, he doesn’t know the fact that he isn’t alone, he doesn’t know the fact that he is not the first one who is facing the no man’s land kind of scenarios. Being ashamed that he couldn’t mend his family and or standup to the demand or expectations of his life partner, he is totally heart-broken and if such family disputes or carrier failure or false cases comes into the highlight of the society or any court proceedings is initiated against him he falls easy prey to the hard step but the easier option, that if he ends his life everything would be shorted. Although that’s not true the vicious circle never ends, as we all preach that ending life is one of the most foolish act and one must stand up against the hostile environment to prove the world he was not immoral.

Nevertheless a man’s endeavor to walk through the harder path to prove his innocence is extremely thorny as the system (government, agencies, the Judiciary) including the society perceives that “All Men’s Are Criminal”. As compared to a woman a man faces an enormous & uphill task to even narrate his side of the facts let alone the reality that he is “innocent until proven guilty” at the hands of the society, government agencies, media or the Judiciary. So for a man path to justice is extremely harsh and torrid, many men perish even in the miniature attempt to present his side of the facts. If he is still there after going through the hell kind of scenarios as for the only hope that he get justice in return he ends everything including his carrier, health and peace of mind in giving tooth to tooth reply to his opponents in the system that is totally against him because a woman side of the story is gospel truth.

As pointed earlier that suicides are not limited to life but actually carrier suicidal and health suicidal are unnoticed too. We have come across survivor cum fighter brother who chooses to prove his innocence and for that in reality he has to undergo numerous hardships and pain. He needs to do a lot of sacrifices to fight such injustice and in return he deteriorates his family relations, health and his carrier aspirations. We all agree to the facts that the society has only one and one role for a man and that is to be a “Protector and Provider”. The society mindset is come whatever may a man has to stand up to his role. A man is under so much pressure to perform that he forgets about his well being and if he is one of them who going through family disputes on top of it if his undergoing trial than his condition worsens.

First of all his wife would file cases on him where she resides, that’s in most cases far away from where her husband is located. That means the husband has to travel to his court dates and if he has more than one litigations against himself and his family members than his situation worsens, his health take a tolls, his carrier is in a tizzy (because he has to take frequent leaves) as we have come across cases where in brothers have to travel more 4,000 kms in a month or even fortnightly. Than to back up the pressure Jail-Bail-Settlement saga would be created to build undue pressure on man and if that isn’t enough than a remark from Hon’ble Apex court would be to Beg, Steal or Borrow you need to maintain your wife. Now his estranged wife would approach his workplace either to know about his salary or to inform the office he is undergoing matrimonial disputes. The wife would leave no stone upturn to ensure that either the husband looses his job and or his image with his colleagues tarnishes.

Can a normal human being bear so much pressure? It’s just that his craving for justice is of such an extent that he doesn’t realizes his pain and the judicial process being so slow that in return it takes out tiny bit of energy and hope left in him. He just doesn’t realizes that his family mellow drama raised by his wife is actually pushing him into depression, his ability to perform at his workplace has dwindled, his counterparts have taken enormous growth in life and he is just stuck at the same place, he just forgets to realise that his family dispute is boggling him 24*7 and he has no peace of mind. He is under medication, physically he is out of shape and he is down with numerous health issues.

Our peace of suggestions to our fellow survivor brothers is we completely understand that we man are very emotional and sentimental towards our family but what about our counterpart? Has she stopped living her life? Has she stopped enjoying with whatever she is left with? Hasn’t she stopped thinking about you? Actually she has discarded you but we man just can’t accept the fact; we are just emotionally stuck with the person giving her space in our mind even though she is not deserving it. As a man just day and night we just think about the cases on us, we just won’t stop thinking how to prove our innocence. What we as man need to do right is that we should make a schedule of our daily routine. It is just the same like in school in our chemistry classes we didn’t use to read history books. Make a routine that your cases just needs 1 hour maximum in a day not more than that.

Just don’t get addicted to your cases. Make a routine that you would start medication, yoga, hit the gym or follow spirituality for the well being of your mental as well as physical health. In job you should focus on the work at hand by not thinking about your cases at that time, you need to perform to give your best out. Remember your opponents have roped you into several cases not only just for their ego satisfaction but actually they want to bow you out. They just want that you never be happy and be prosperous in your life.

Yes do contest your cases but also live your life to the fullest. Just don’t be carrier and health suicidal because the path is too long, it would take hell number of years to prove your innocence and you cannot stay put at the same point for so many years. Just love yourself the same way you tryst that justice be served upon you. If you are leaving your job or you don’t care about your carrier growth and or you need to take medicines to get a good tight sleep than actually you are the one who is doing injustice to yourself. One day or the other you would be a winner as truth always win but when you look back at your carrier or your health and if both or either one are not in good shape than the happiness of finally getting justice won’t last long it would just fade away. The new generation who would be reaching you for suggestion how to handle such situations and by the time you are fragile, lunatic and of unsound mind what example would you be to the new generation who would want to fight for justice. Yours prosperous health and wealth is the best reply to your opponents and society at large who doubted your integrity. Your life should be such that your aura gives positive vibes to anyone who meets or greets you.

The fight is not a personal one, it’s not for personal satisfaction but it’s for the coming generation of men’s who get at least a foothold that they are not the first and neither would be the last to face hostile environment as the countries lawmakers with their pro woman approach are actually making life of a man a living hell. Don’t worry with this anti-man approach they would give rise to such young generations who won’t get married at all or there would be a gender equal mass revolution. So, it’s on us how we want to live our life – at anyone mercy or at our own will. Just don’t fall prey to carrier and health suicidal tendency. Be a boon to society at large, be a boon to yourself.

If we want to set an example than One has to say a big NO to Suicide and even a bigger NO to carrier and health suicidal tendency!